Archive for October, 2008

The grinch who stole Thursday
October 31, 2008

That title refers to the stupid bitch at table 32 who had to question every little thing I did and tell me that we didn’t make our salad dressing right because we use cream and “I make salad dressing all the time and that’s not how I make it.”

Really?  Well then.  We have an opening for an Executive Chef.  Wanna apply?  Or are you too damn busy giving favors for jewelry in your Pittsford-ass cookie cutter sub-division to make something of your life?


I laugh at my own stupid jokes
October 21, 2008

Well, I do. This one’s from the summer:

Ian rushes into the kitchen with his arms full of leftovers to be boxed up for his inpatient table.

“You know, people are always in a hurry these days. They never want to sit, relax, and enjoy their food. They just want to get in and get out,” he said.

“Yup,” I reply. “And they don’t even want to cuddle afterwards.”

Old enough to know better, too young to care
October 21, 2008

Should you date people you work with? I’m a romantic. I know you’re not supposed to mix your personal life with work, but what if you meet your personal life at work?

Today I had to stop by my old job (I worked the coffee bar at a hospital) to drop off some calendars that I’m selling for my internship. I had to purposely schedule my trip so that I wouldn’t run into my “ex-boyfriend”, who works at the front desk in the lobby. Luckily, we didn’t really start dating until after I stopped working there, so I never had to deal with working within screaming distance. What if we had started dating earlier and I’d had to work with him?

Nevertheless, my old boss dated a fellow server for eight months before I found out about the romance. A manager dating a subordinate is the epitome of defying the company’s dating policy. But when (outside of work) you see those two together, it kinda makes you understand why someone would jeopardize his job for a girl.

It’s a leap of faith. And really, what has the restaurant ever done for you?

October 19, 2008


So yesterday was an OK Saturday night. I came out with like $120 (after my $26.72 tip out, mind you. A blog-worthy topic in and of itself). But anyway, things were alright, except for my one table that completely stiffed me!

The bill was $81.18. They gave me $49 cash and told me to put $32 on this one lady’s card. So they didn’t give me enough cash, but I decided to absorb the $.18 difference to spare myself the embarrassment of having to explain to three drunk women that they owed me $.18. They told me to “keep the change” – which is ironic, because there wasn’t any!!

I gave them great service. In all likelihood, I could have been looking at a $12-$15 tip. But no. Because they suck.

I told one kid about this, and he told me (and he “swears to God” this story is true) that last week a customer mailed a tip to him. That he got an envelope labeled “To Adam” with 10 bucks in it and a note explaining how sorry they were, that they didn’t have enough money, that they felt terrible about not tipping him. I actually read a post from another blogger that had a similar situation happen.

I honestly don’t think these women intentionally left without tipping me. They were really nice and seemed happy with the service. And it seems like someone who didn’t tip would sneak out really quickly and avoid eye contact and such – but they didn’t. They stuck around to say goodbye.

I’m freaking compassionate. I suck at math when I’m sober – so I can imagine the numerical kerfluffle I’d be in after a few drinky drinks. Maybe it was the cosmos, or the lack of a calculator, but my belief in the good in people leads me to believe this wasn’t on purpose.

But at the same time, I’m not holding my breathe and waiting for a little envelope addressed to Janet.

Cosmos - Good for the mood, bad for the math skills

Cosmos - Good for the mood, bad for the math skills

Blush n Studder
October 17, 2008

So yesterday I had a terrible night, and after making $47 on the lamest closing shift ever, my friend reminds me with sunshiny optimism about why waitressing is so awesome: because of all the cool people you get to meet.

Really?  The down-talking verbal tippers??!  I know, I’m so blessed to have met them.

But today I walk in and immediately get thrown onto a party because some other server “can’t handle it.”  I look across the restaurant and gaze at my prospective table: A fifteen top of collectively, the most attractive group of men I’ve seen ever since I realized that boys didn’t have cooties (which coincidently was only two years ago!  Just kidding…sort of).

So I take them on.  It turns out they are a hockey team – for the farm team to the NY Rangers.  And this would mean something to me if I followed sports.  But I don’t.  So their J Crew shirts and charisma were plenty enough.

But what my friend said is true.  Last year, I met some actors who were in town to do a show called White Christmas at the Geva Theater.  They were really nice, and so interesting.  In all seriousness, it’s fun to meet people who live completely different lives than you.

Finally, a happy rant.  For once, a good surprise.

A future NY Ranger at my table.  Hmmm sigghhhhhhh

A future NY Ranger at my table. Hmmm sigghhhhhhh

October 15, 2008

I’m so excited. I’m sitting here watching Oprah, and she has this show about rudeness in America. She included this awesome segment about people who act rude in restaurants. THANK YOU Oprah for bringing light to an issue that is really important to the restaurant people affected by rude customers.

There was this RUDE girl named Jeni featured on the show, and she completely embodied the typical nightmare customer. Get this: she admitted to yelling at a server for refilling her iced tea because it ruined the “sweetener to tea ratio” of the remaining tea in the glass.  Really?

The show also featured Steve Dublanica, whose blog Waiter Rant is one of the reasons I chose to do this topic for my project.  I’m not gonna lie, there was only so much market research I could do at my PR internship this summer and his site helped me pass the time.

Steve Dublanica, author of Waiter Rant. Google his blog!!

Steve Dublanica, author of Waiter Rant. Google his blog!!

Jeni is the one on the left. At least her sister seems sweet.

Jeni is the one on the left. At least her sister seems sweet.

When I grow up, I’m not going to push my children to do any particular sport, activity, or college major. I will, however, insist that they spend at least a summer working in a restaurant. If people walked a day in our shoes they would learn to be more compassionate, respectful – LESS RIDICULOUS!!!

And as for Jeni: Good luck, girl. I can 100% guarentee there has been spit in your food if you seriously act like that in a restaurant.  Even better – how about spit in that freaking iced tea.  How’s that for a “sweetener to tea ratio?”

Here is a link to my favorite segment on the show:

Photo creds:

Podcast Project
October 13, 2008

Here is the link to my second podcast assignment. Umm…if you listen to this please don’t laugh. I’m new to podcasting and let’s just say this is a “low-budg amateur” production.

Another fun conversation
October 10, 2008

This one is dedicated to Niki, who tonight, had a table that ordered the Ziti al Forno – but instead asked for the Ziti al Porno.

That's a sexy plate of pasta.


I have a theory that you are never too sad, tired, rich, distracted, or important to appreciate a great sexual innuendo.

Waiter’s Memory
October 9, 2008

Do you write orders down?  I write everything down on my little notepad – even if it’s a two-top.  It’s also an excuse for me to see my Superman note paper and that makes me happy.  Happy Janet plus correct order equals a win-win for all.

Fun conversations
October 5, 2008

Lady: Can you make pizzas without cheese?
Me: Yes, everything is made to order so we’ll do whatever you like.
Lady: Oh, great! So what do you think the chef’s suggestion would be?
Me: The pizzas on the menu are the chef’s suggestion.

(Ordering a steak dinner, the filetto)
Me: And what would you like to have, sir?
Guy: The fill….filll….filll..
Me: Filetto?
Guy: Falacio?
Me. That’s not on the menu.

And this didn’t happen to me, but my friend Jamie had this happen at the country club.
Guy hands her his leftover steak – “Will you wrap my meat?”

I'll never look at steak the same way.

I'll never look at steak the same way.